First and foremost, I love him. He’s the only one capable of stirring up a shit show of emotions within me, from passion to heartbreak. I mean, I’d like to say that I am a sane, rational individual. But the truth remains that I am as crazy as I am creative, and it takes a special kind of man to vibe with me. Sometimes, he drives me crazy, or frustrates me, and the communication gets foggy and we get distracted and stress burdens us both. Other times, he makes life more beautiful than I could possibly imagine.
I won’t be writing about relationships often, because I don’t really want the entire world in on our secrets, and when it’s us alone at the end of an eventful day, I can’t imagine unwinding with anyone else. He’s strong and his love is unyielding. He wants me to be happy more than I want to be happy sometimes. Even when the odds are stacked against us, I can hold his hand and make it through.
Sometimes there’s a lot of drama, and that can really test our characters. After almost seven years with him, I can say that we’ve been through rocky moments, and come out thriving.
We’ve both made a few mistakes, one of mine being saying the wrong thing the wrong way at the wrong time, sometimes to the wrong people. I’m working on that. He’s made mistakes too, but something I’ve learned is that your relationship functions best when it’s just you two, working it out. If that means three days of venting and arguing that leads to forgiveness, it is still healthier than talking behind each other’s backs or getting advice from someone else, because an outside party will only know what you tell them, and in the heat of the moment, you might share incorrect assumptions or judgements or god knows what else, and that will significantly alter their perception of you and your relationship. Even if you grow, forgive, and move forward, the other party might not, and what you say about others always reflects on you.
Neither one of us have had it easy, until we became an alliance. We were able to make more individual progress together than apart, and we have become better people. He motivates me and I encourage him. We grew up in similar situations, with similar problems at home. We lost a lot of our innocence early, found ourselves independent before we were ready for the responsibility of it all, and learned how to support ourselves- together.
I knew I needed to show him some appreciation more often, Overall, nobody has ever been as good to me as he is, and it’s why I’ll probably spend my entire life by his side. He cooks, cleans, and works hard to support us. Especially during the time I’ve been injured, he’s been attentive and caring and supportive, even though I’ve been stressed out and scared. He makes me laugh and tells me stories about adventures he’s had during the day. He kisses my forehead when I’m sleeping and props up my pillows. When he sleeps, he cuddles me and lays his head on my chest. It’s the sweetest thing, and when I mention it in the morning, he always blushes and denies it.
So, about a week ago, I left 101 sticky notes around the house. He rushed upstairs, looking for the car keys and he seemed so stressed and so flustered my heart ached for him. While I’ve been injured, I’ve had incredibly limited mobility and am pretty much home bound. He’s been providing me with everything I need, and I cannot repay him. When I say the frustration in his eyes, I just wanted to comfort him, to thank him for all he’s done and all he’s been doing.
I started by cleaning up what I could, sitting on the floor while I hand-vacuumed it, propping a chair by the sink and washing a few dishes, refilling the kitties water dishes, but I really wanted to do something special. Then, I came across a small package of sticky notes that we had used back in the days of roommates.
On the first sticky note, I wrote “I appreciate you.” I stuck it on the monitor of our desktop computer. I continued writing, “I love you” and “You’re so important to me” and “I love your smile.” and “hello, handsome!” until every last note was written on.
I’ve hidden them all over the house, some on mirrors, some in books, some in his clothes, by light switches and outlets, near the coffee pot, the key rack, and basically everywhere I know he’ll wander across them. Even though I can’t get out of bed often, I wanted him to have these little reminders that I care, and that I notice his effort. I think that he deserves at least that.
So the other day, he comes home, and notices the note on the desktop, then one on the mirror. “How many notes are there?” He asked.
“I’m not sure, to be honest,” I replied, with a smile. “I used them all.”
He smiled at me and started looking around, eyes bright, like a child on a scavenger hunt.
“I’ve found 3! Are there more?”
I know he won’t be able to find them all, some will lose their adhesive and fall to the floor, some will be confiscated by the felines, and some he’ll find years later, when we’ve moved four more times and he’s looking through some nostalgic box of trinkets. What won’t change is that I’ll still love him. I’ll still appreciate him. and I’ll still need him. This is the man that makes me feel like a woman, like a princess, protected and spoiled. And nothing is going to stop me from spoiling him right back, not even a bad knee.
❤ Rachael Emily, Co-Founder of Kreadiv Media
To our Readers: How do you let your loved ones know you care?
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